Have been considering killing myself almost every day this past month or so.. usually im able to push the thoughts away but I haven’t been able to. I’m trying on settling to wait until im 18 so I can get a taste of freedom before decide to take my life.
I keep telling myself I should find help. Maybe my history teacher who is also the AP psych teacher? Maybe the school psychologist? Maybe my friends? Problem is every time I decide I will, I chicken out. It’d probably be easier if I didn’t lack the social skills.. I can’t go to family, they all think im either exaggerating, being sinful or stress out too much trying to make me happy.
What is happy? Did I ever get to feel it ir was it all part of the illness?
It’d be easier if I wasn’t here.